Retired Crutch

For so long I took pride in being the glue that kept my family together.

I took pride in being everyone else’s crutch.

Took pride in being the one that was always there for everyone.

But just like every intensive spot, over time there will be damage. Ligament tears, shoulder replacements, knee replacements.

Being so busy being there for everyone else, didn’t even leave me with the to check in on myself…

To check in on the damage….on my own tears.

My body is finally giving in and I no longer think I can or care to be that person anymore.

My older sister and I use to joke about, still joke about. The fact we were the parents growing up.

I have to dedicate an entire week of posts to really explain my family, sooo then u truly truly can understand the dysfunction. And even then you may not. Especially if your a plain Jane American from Texas….not where the Mexicans have to live.

But while that joke make have yield a few laughs, there was also a sad truth behind.

I lost a huge portion of my childhood because of it, or just being able to be a child.

And it never bothered me before, but now as an Adult and just from the different things I’ve learned and from actually working with children. It makes me question how much of my ownself got lost away.

I guess we can go back to the top, to the original purpose of this post…..

I hold a lot of resentment when it comes to my family. And some days it’s hard to differentiate resentment from anger.

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Growing and learning with every new sunrise and sunset. This blog is me finally taking control, because well "Nobody puts Baby in the corner"...nobody. No, but seriously just creating a space where I can share, vent and maybe brighten up a few people's day :).

6 thoughts on “Retired Crutch

  1. There is so much truth to this and I relate on many levels. I felt so much resentment until I totally moved and uprooted from them all. They had disturbed my peace and I was no longer happy. I hope that you’re able to find happiness and eventually let go of the resentment. I enjoyed reading this ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Girl thank you so much! Family is hard loll…I’ve just been taking it day by day, trying to be less resentful. Hats off to you though, for realizing that and actually taking steps to find your peace and happiness. One day I’ll be there….

      Like

      1. It took me a while and some days I still feel the need to help. You will only get there when you are ready. I had to realize I was mad at everyone and holding in anger while they were going on with there lives. I was the only one suffering in the situation and that was a problem. Family is tough but if you’ve gotten this far, you can go further. Be blessed ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s super hard sometimes because you can feel the hate festering, but you know they’re your family so you begin to feel guilty. How you’ve just explained is exactly where I’m at some days. Thank you for you kind words, Be Blessed!

        Liked by 1 person

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